01.29.08
Posted in Film Review at 2:02 pm by Administrator
This past sunday night the screen actors guild got together to once again pat each other on the back for being the most important human beings on the planet. Was I the only one that cringed as Mickey Roonie stood there and sucked on the rooms big giant rod? I hate to break it to them but they’re just over paid court jesters who entertain us, that is it. They are not doctors and it is not their job to save the world. I’ve never seen a room so satisfide with itself. Every year they declare it to be the most important year for acting and film as an industry. I’m not quite sure what was so important about 2007 as a year in film. Maybe perhaps they could elaborate on what made it so important? Another year where George Clooney tells us all of his political beliefs via film? Another year where nonsense films such as Atonement garner acclaim for seemingly no reason whatsoever other than its an old timey period piece that does a good job of looking old timey.
The only moment of true humility came from the most un-hollywood man in the room; Daniel Day Lewis. In his acceptance speech for best actor he took the time, not to wallow in his own self importance, but to mention the passing of Heath Ledger. Theirs a reason he only makes one movie every couple of years and that is simply because he doesn’t truly belong to that room of self righteous snobs. I love film as an art form and actors are a part of what makes them so astounding but when they all get together you unfortunately get a peek at how ridiculous they look when they take themselves so seriously.
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01.17.08
Posted in Film Review at 2:19 pm by Administrator
There are two monsters hitting theaters this weekend but only one will make every man in America cringe in unison as they watch their worst fears come to life in Mitchell Lichtenstein’s TEETH. You may have heard about that little film at Sundance about the girl with Vagina Dentata. The film, if nothing else, supplies you with all of the severed penises you can handle. It doesn’t disappoint in providing plenty of bloody crotches having been chewed off by the films protagonist, Dawn.
Dawn is a goody goody straight edged girl who is charmingly naïve to all things sexual. Jessie Wexler takes the character of Dawn through a fascinating transformation from innocent “promise ring” girl of purity to an empowered woman who realizes her vaginal teeth are not a curse but a gift. This is the corner stone of the story and it’s carried on her ability to sell the humorous moments but also the vicious dismemberments where she takes her vengeance on mankind. The film is blatantly layered with many images of other vicious female myths such as Medusa who had the power to turn men to stone at merely a glance. It’s not uncommon to see women take on these roles when in so many facets of life they are put down for their feminine traits and seen merely as sexual conquests to be had by the many men around them.
Lichtenstein surrounds Dawn with all kinds of men and unfortunately they are all pig headed assholes that only want to take advantage of her. Most disturbing of them all is her stepbrothers unwanted sexual advances. Of course this isn’t too far from the truth and one cannot blame mother nature for providing women with a tool against one of the worst crimes you could commit against them. Rape is probably every woman’s worst fear so it is with some great delight to see Dawn equipped with the ultimate can of pepper spray. Even the film refuses to delight the male viewer with any female nudity until Dawn becomes comfortable in her own skin. Only when she has chosen to let you see do we finally get a good view of her breasts but then the following scene reminds you that she is and always will be in control.
So just in case you didn’t want to see the film because of its themes and fascinating take on female empowerment in a world dominated by men it blankets these ideas inside of a very comedic script with plenty of laugh out loud moments. Its dark but without the humor this film really wouldn’t work at all. There are quite a few money shots of the aftermath of the vaginal bites to satisfy the gore hounds but unfortunately we never get a shot of what Dawn’s vagina looks like which kind of feels like a strange double standard considering the film is about not being ashamed of the female genitalia. To not show it is to succumb to societal norms and since B films are given license to go where most films dare not it’s a shame we never get the best money shot of them all. Somewhere in the world David Cronenberg’s special effects guy is wishing he had the chance to create a robotic vagina layered with teeth. Don’t we all.
3/5
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